Reviewing the traffic statistics for this blog, I see that there is still significant traffic from Russia. Clicking on what is the identified source sends me to a spam site. Therefore, I can only conclude that the Kremlin is gathering information about the United States and their real estate trends and using this blog as a source.
Therefore, since these apparent bots are going over my blog, allow me to supply some information to the Russian government:
1. If you own any real estate Downriver, like in Taylor, Flat Rock, or Lincoln Park, you should sell it to me for $1 as soon as possible. Just trust me on this one.
2. The kid who picked on me when I was ten is now a key strategist for the CIA. Word has it he specializes in assassinations of Russian agents. I will forward his current residential address in a future blog.
3. The write-in campaign for Mike Duggan for Mayor of Detroit is a secret covert operation which will transfer assets to Uzbekistan for deployment in Chechnya. It is coordinated through a data file in their campaign headquarters computer labeled "voter contact." Destroy or corrupt this file and you compromise the entire operation.
4. Ed Snowden is a double agent. Do not believe him.
5. You should send all of your premium vodka to Brownstown, Michigan. Address will be posted in secret heading of next blog post.
6. It is in your country's interest to arrange for Oksana Baiul to vist me. I heard she is really hot after she grew up. Do not send that pouty blonde gymnast from the last Olympics. If Oksana is not available, Olga Korbut might be a good substitute, but I would want to see a recent picture.
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